The Last Hardest Thing

In my last post, I talked about moving on and acceptance. This time, I'm going to talk about what is the hardest thing that you'll face in a break up.

Well, for me, it's letting go.

After a very long time, I was still hanging onto his arms, no matter how many time he gave a signal that he's already let me go... part of it because I was... no I still am in love with him...

The other part was because he was always gave me mixed signal... sometimes he showed love, sometimes he was very distant... so yeah I was hanged... but I won't blame him, I won't blame myself either. It was just our journey, our path that finally hit the end of the road... he has a new girl...

It is devastating, yes. Not long ago, he hugged me in front of many people, showed the love he had in front of other, he kissed me, and selflessly help me. But not long after that, just a glimpse of time, he moved on...

When I knew about it, I couldn't help my self. I called him and tell him I'm not gonna be around him anymore. I cried after that, and even I cried while writing this. But yeah, it's time for letting go.

Dealing with letting go it's not easy...

You have to deal with the thought that someone you love, already happy or in love with someone else. That he or she doesn't need you anymore. That they can live without you...

while you're here, can't even bear the thought of losing him/her...

could only stand and watch your other half go...

yes, it's unbearable...

but still, you have to let go...

Remember that you're not the only person that ever deal with break up. There are lots of other people who are also going through what you're or I'm going through right now. They can survive, so do you, so do I.

Yes, it's okay to cry at first. It's a prove that you're still have a heart. But then, try to smile, chin up, and just be stronger every day. Falling in love is a courageous thing to do, but letting go is even more courageous. So if you or I can get through this, we will become stronger than ever...

Yet there are still somethings I want to say to my ex...

For you who loved me for almost three years, if somehow you stumble upon this note, I want to say my last words...

Thank you for every thing that we've been through together. I learned a lot from this amazing experience. Whether it's bad or good, it's still gonna me part of my life forever. I apologize that I have to leave... it's not that the feelings gone, or because I hate you... no, it's not that. Please understand that I need distance and separation to forget you, to little by little remove you from my head, to make this deep feelings gone over time...

nothing can heal me but time... I'm sure the process will be hard, but I'll be fine.

I hope you made the best decision

I hope you're happy

good luck for you're life.

good bye...

PS: I may not be the girl you marry. But I will be the girl you think about in years ahead while having polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.

Regards,

 

 ~If you die trying for something important, then you have both honor and courage~